Spoken English
by Kinkles65
Summary: Young Karen has fallen for Charles to Hawkeye's despare. Rated R for (lots of) erotic content! Reviews of any sort welcome!
1. First Days

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SPOKEN ENGLISH

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**_I do not own MASH or the characters. This is my disclaimer. My story is just one of fiction based around the characters of MASH._**

**This is my very first Fic (ahh!) and am a wee bit nervous but that doesn't mean I won't be grateful for reviews of all kinds. I'd like also to thank Kay Em for her support and encouragement as well as her help in the formatting of this story.**

_(I've written the main character's dialogue as best as I could, as a young sheltered woman of the era, Hey! I wasn't there! I wish!)_

Nana said I'd be shot dead, Aunt Hettie told me I'd die of some disease, Mitch kind of looked at me with that puppy-eyed expression he always gave when he was disappointed, and Mamma just rolled over in her bed that morning, and after pulling herself on to an elbow drained the last of the glass of Whisky she'd left on the bedside table the night before, saying to me "Why the hell you getting involved in this anyway, sweetheart, you are not an American?" Mamma giggled and swayed her head a little, the glass pincered between two carefully painted talons - two of five she happily applied to the side of my face the previous night although she never looked at me that morning and if she had, would have denied anything about the deep scratch-wounds that still stung. Yes I guess Mamma was right, I was not really an American, I was born in a minor northern town in England, but I'd been brought up in Maine and since I could remember that was my home. Dad and Mamma had moved from Clitheroe when I was eight, the war in Europe had broken out you see, Dad had always been ill and had been exempt from signing up so we moved to America. People had said it had been difficult for him anyway. I never understood that. Now I looked at Mamma but she seemed so far away and she was turning her empty glass round in her hands and was just staring, her thin lips pursed and stained with faded lipstick. "You know that Britain has entered into this now," I said softly, "Australia too and they say many countries are going to join…." Mamma turned to me with an expression that I so recognised, it said "Don't contradict me girl, I always have the last word." I looked away, stood up and left her room, I had already packed my bags the previous evening and there they were in the dark hallway right outside my bedroom door. I was on my way to Korea.

On the long journey to the East I thought back to the many times Mamma had got drunk, how she cursed at and threw Mrs Cable out the house after accusing her of sleeping with Dad, how she paced the living room screaming that nobody loved her. I sat there in the kitchen with the door bolted saying in my head that I loved her over and over again and wishing Dad was alive. I felt her shaking my shoulders violently but awoke to realize the Jeep had entered a rocky trail up to the hospital and looked alarmed at the three other nurses who were my companions. They all smiled at me and one took hold of my arm so kindly and placed her head on my shoulder and said that we would be soon reaching 4077 and we could have a nice shower and some food; the jeep eventually veered and bumped and slowed, there were some lights and we stepped off the Jeep. We stood there and breathed in the hot night air. In silence and our feet in dust and weighed down with our luggage, the Jeep turned and sped off - I then realized most of the light we were aware of was from the Jeep's headlights and we were actually quite in darkness. After a moment there was some commotion, lots of voices and we saw several people run up to us from the shadows, some lights came on from the camp, I turned and saw a smiling woman's face looking at me. She looked flushed - she introduced herself as Major Houlihan and rectified her smile, catching her breath she straightened herself and with seriousness told us with some directness where we should be sleeping. Along with the other nurses I huddled into the quarters, no shower, no food, and without any argument we decided which bunk was whose, baggage was left on the floor, I slipped a nightgown on and climbed in and lay my very tired head on a pillow. The last thing I remembered that night was Major Houlihan's voice screaming around the camp that she's wished she'd been informed that another bunch of nurses had been allocated to the 4077.

Brilliant sunshine filled the quarters the next morning, the door was open and the screaming Major of the night before was standing in the middle of our tent and still screaming. I wondered if she'd actually gotten any sleep or even had got to bed. Looking at her I saw she was a fine looking woman, blonde with some help, sharp eyes and younger than I'd imagine someone in her position would be. With her arms behind her back she yelled at me that if I wanted breakfast and a wash I'd better get outta that bed "Tout Suite" so I leaped right out of that bed, slipped, and ungracefully made a sliding descent to the floor, hooking my nightgown on some kind of nail. The other nurses laughed although not unkindly as I laid there as naked as I was born. I tried to unhook my clothing which to my mind took forever and when I eventually clasped what was left of the shredded gown to my front I looked with some hope of forgiveness at the Major. Her expression hadn't changed, she glared and just took a deep breath and turned and left saying she'd expect us for an explanation of our duties. I felt so stupid, the other nurses gathered round me and helped me to my feet, giving me my clothes.

"Don't worry," said the nurse who hugged my arm the night before, "Remember we're all in this together, my name's Georgia by the way." I smiled gratefully but she rushed out of the door before I could speak.

That morning we were given our OR gowns and masks and told to expect the unexpected. The doctors were gods and we were there to assist them and were never to question their decisions at any time no matter what our opinions. We were told too never to get drunk, never to fraternize with any male members at the MASH and to uphold the reputation and virtues allied nurses were thought of around the world. We were told to be in bed by ten O'clock. By 3 O'clock that afternoon I felt like being in bed already after Major Houlihan's lecture, and when the meeting ended we all poured out into the hot Korean sunshine, the rest of the day was ours. My eyes stung at the brilliance of the sun and I began to wander back to the nurses' quarters but in my temporary blindness collided with two men. I apologized, one of them grabbed my arm and giggling told me it was no problem and then the questions started, they had never seen me before, was I new? Was I married? Focussing I saw two tall scruffy men, one pale with black shiny hair and blue eyes and the other fair with a moustache, both were grinning like maniacs. I must say at this point I grinned back, they seemed amiable and not in the least threatening. The black haired man shook my hand with some gusto and introduced himself as a doctor with the name of Hawkeye but the blond guy seemed to want to go somewhere despite his friendly smile. I shook myself free of Hawkeye's handshake and continued my way to the nurses' quarters, I could hear the fair man telling Hawkeye he was an impossible predator but I felt so tired and wanted only to lie down and sleep.

I must have slept for at least four hours, I wanted it to be restorative time but then the dreams came. My mother shouting, me cowering, Mitch and his proposals again, and again, me cowering. And then the screaming. I awoke, it was still light although the room seemed red and propping myself up in bed through the small window I could see the sun just disappearing behind a mountain. I climbed out and sat on the bed, I couldn't hear a thing. At home I kinda liked being alone with no intrusion but now it felt uncomfortable, I was in a strange place, far away from home and needed company. I changed into a light dress I had brought with me and some sandals but I had no idea where I was going when I left the quarters. I wandered about the camp until I heard some laughing, some life. I turned and walked toward where I heard the bustle and stood outside a wooden door with a sign saying "Officers Club". I hesitated and then with a deep shaking breath pushed the door open anyway expecting no less than a bunch of uniform stopping their conversations and giving me funny looks.

When I entered there was no staring, no anything but people laughing and drinking. I felt sort of funny walking in dressed like I did, some guys looked at me and then smiled at each other and I did my best to smile back. Before I panicked and ran I felt a hand on my arm and it was the black-haired doctor from that afternoon and he pulled me over to where he and his friend were sitting. I sat with them and had a beer thrust into my hand, Hawkeye gave me compliments on my dress. His fair friend swilled from his can of beer. I felt stupid but drank my beer and gazed around the bar, just your usual GI's I suppose, only a couple of other women but they were engaged in conversation with their besotted companions. Then a commotion broke out, something about the music played. I turned round and there was a tall well-built man with flashing blue eyes arguing with a slightly drunk private. The private must have said something insulting, his friends laughed and the tall man's eyes widened until I thought they would pop out of his face. With a look of disgust he came over to our table and sat with rage into the seat opposite me, he picked up a glass on the table and swigged the remnants. He growled about how people were peasants and idiots, how again he'd been refused the opportunity to "Educate" the masses on the wonder and beauty of real, decent music. I looked round at Hawkeye who was stifling a giggle into his arm and looking at his friend who smiled openly showing the whitest teeth I'd seen. Hawkeye then looked at me.

"Hey!" he grinned, "I think we met earlier, never caught your name, erm... nurse?... I hope!" like it was a joke I was one. I felt immediately embarrassed and my gaze turned to his friend who instead of laughing like I expected, smiled warmly at me.

"I'm BJ," he said "And ignore Hawk, he's an instant idiot, just add nurses."

"Incurable disease I'm afraid, many apologies..." Hawkeye fluttered his eyelashes.

"Are you all doctors"? I asked.

"Well I don't know about everybody else here but yes, we three Curly, Larry and Mo..." his eyes darted to the large man, "...are indeed doctors, and can I ask if that pretty face has a name, Lieutenant?"

"Karen, Karen Stanford, I'm from Maine," I stuttered, it was odd to be referred to by a rank.

"Nice place," replied BJ taking another sip of his beer "Long journey huh?"

I was about to respond but I heard a loud cough, I turned to look across the table and the previously irate well-built man smiled genially and offered a large hand to me.

"And I'm Charles," I accepted his shake, "Winchester," he added.

"The third no less," Hawkeye slurred.

"And no more," said BJ as he rose and headed for the bar.

Charles' expression briefly returned to the disgusted look but then he relaxed and smiled again at me. "You are awfully young to be here Karen."

"I'm 19," I replied, "Just something I wanted to do, be here, do something." I cringed at my obvious, clichéd reply but Charles continued.

"This is not a nice place to be, I don't think anybody here would lie to you about that."

Hawkeye put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed gently, "Actually the rumour is that this whole war is a lie, a hoax, a joke and we are the butt."

"Hey, Hawk, I've only been gone two seconds and you're talking about butts already, leave the poor girl alone!" BJ had returned with some beers and a cognac for Charles, he slumped down in his chair. Charles cleared his throat and picked up his drink relishing every sip. I drank my beer and felt the alcohol relaxed me. I never drank back home, maybe only some scrumpy Nana's friend Joss had made and she kept in the larder. Me and my best-friend Susan had crept into the kitchen one day and lifting the heavy jar onto the table had poured the dark orange liquid into two mugs and giggling had topped the jar up with ordinary water. Mamma wouldn't have known anyway because she only drank Scotch and she never went near the kitchen.

"Play Poker?" I was awoken from my thoughts, Hawkeye was smiling at me.

"No," I said

"Ridiculous game," Charles interrupted "Only mugs would find that entertainment."

"Oh shut up Charles," Hawkeye bellowed.

"Steady on guys," BJ said, "We've enough wounded around here without you two added to the load."

I looked at BJ, "I haven't seen any wounded yet," I admitted.

"You will tomorrow Karen, don't expect any pretty scenery though," he replied. "With luck it'll be only post-op at the moment but you can bet those North Koreans will give you a personal introduction to the delights of their particular art of maiming real soon." I realised at that moment with all my high and mighty ideas and good intentions, I really was part of this war. I bought the next round of beers and of course the Cognac for Charles who after thanking me for the drink remained quite silent.

After maybe two or three more beers Major Houlihan's face appeared in my mind, I looked at my watch, a half past midnight. I felt uneasy. I stood up and placed my hand on BJ's shoulder, "I have to go to bed now," I said to him.

"No problem," he smiled "Our paths might just cross in the OR tomorrow."

"Must admit it's getting a little late," said Hawkeye forcing a yawn, "Can I have the pleasure of escorting you to your quarters?" he asked looking over his shoulder at me with half-closed eyes and a wry smile. I wasn't in the mood to argue and looked across at the silent Charles.

"I hope Dr Winchester I will see you soon," realising I'd made an obvious statement, but he smiled at me and straightened himself.

"Of course." His blue eyes looked right into my own, "I just hope you have a restful night." I smiled at him, feeling foolish but not knowing why. After waiting for Hawkeye to eventually remove himself from his chair I left the Officers' club. Both Hawkeye and myself walked into the still hot air, he put his arm in mine and unsteadily we walked slowly back.

"You are very beautiful," he whispered into my ear, "The most beautiful new nurse probably I've ever seen today," he then laughed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I really wasn't listening and he pulled my arm closer into his. "There's nothing wrong Hawkeye." I looked up at him, his face was indeed handsome, his straight black hair fell over his eyes. I was in that moment tempted to spend the night with him, to relieve the loneliness. I noticed our steps were getting shorter, slower. Suddenly a gust of warm wind blew through the camp, I looked round and realised I was outside my tent.

"I better go in," I said.

"I have a great bottle of wine, travels well from my tent to the supply room," he grinned.

I reached up and kissed him. I had meant it be a slight kiss but he pulled me in tight and assaulted my mouth with an invading tongue, something I'd never experienced before. Mitch's kisses had been clumsy and sloppy but with Hawkeye this moment of intimacy made me move close into his body, I grasped him to me and for several seconds I was in rapture in this new delight as his hips pressed close and hard to mine. Then, I realised this wasn't right at all. I was a new nurse, with responsibilities, we were drunk, what would Major Houlihan think? I pulled away.

"I'm so sorry Hawkeye," I said to him "Best I go in and just go to bed." He looked at me just like Mitch used to do, those disappointed puppy-dog eyes.

Hawkeye looked down and then looked up at me with a grin. "Guess I just have to be a bit more romantic next time huh?" he winked and walked off and I went into my tent. Nobody was there, looks like Houlihan's orders made as big an impact as a pebble hitting the moon. I changed into my nightgown, one I'd borrowed since the morning, got under the covers and lay there. My body still tingled at these new feelings. I thought about Hawkeye, his kiss, those sensations. My mind wandered to Dr Winchester the Third, his flaming blue eyes. I wondered what would have happened if Dr Winchester had walked me home, surely he wouldn't have been so "predatory" as to kiss me like that. I wondered where he was at that moment. I went to sleep. My dreams started with bloodied bodies, young men dying...

Again Mamma was shouting, I was behind the couch this time as she spat her venom at Dad, where was he last night, what was he doing. Her painted claws threw her glass down, I jumped, the screaming continued. The low calm voice of my father was raised into a pitiful whine as he pleaded with Mamma, I could hear her walk into the bedroom in her hard high-heels and Dad following her. The arguments were muffled but still the noise went on. I curled into a ball where I was, tears rolled from my eyes. I wished so much I was somewhere far away.

_To be continued..._


	2. Love in a Hot Climate

**SPOKEN ENGLISH**

**Chapter Two**

**Karen has recently been assigned as a nurse to the 4077 MASH. It is her second day and now she has to face the realities of the Korean War and her growing feelings for one of the doctors.**

A little nudge to my shoulder, I looked round to see Georgia's pretty round face smiling at me.

"Time to get up Lieutenant," she whispered with a grin,  "Got to get up on ceremony for her highness."

I knew exactly what she meant and climbed from my cot, even that made my head pulse and as I was dressing thought back to the previous evening. Just as I was tying my shoes Major Houlihan opened the door, I stood up as we all did, she was in a milder mood than the previous morning. Her smile seemed sincere as she looked around the tent and then at us. She wished us luck on our first day on the Post-Op and told us it wouldn't be easy sometimes but to keep on in there.

Later that morning I was called into the ward. There was a guy lying with his midriff bandaged, his eyes were staring at the ceiling, another was crying and it was obvious he'd had his legs amputated, a tall man walked toward me, "Told you our paths might cross, spooky huh?" It was BJ,  "Things are kinda quiet at the moment Karen" he said,  "A man over there needs his saline drip checked, and the guy next to him has a serious infection, we operated on him a couple of days ago but there's nothing more we can do - Just hope he makes it". BJ gave me a smile and some notes.

 "Hi, remember me?" I turned to see Georgia,

"We were on the jeep together coming in weren't we"? I smiled

"Some journey huh?" Her eyes rolled, "Major Houlihan's not too bad, back in London we had Matrons in the hospital ten times as worse."

So she was English, I couldn't wait to tell her I was English too, I hoped so much we'd be good friends. Then there was a cry asking for a nurse. As Georgia was laden down with sheets I hurried over and noticed it was the young man with the post-op infection, I smiled and took his hand. I asked him his name and where he was from and stayed by his side; his name was William, he was twenty-three and from Chicago, a steel worker and he was so scared. Suddenly he closed his eyes and I realized he'd died just there in front of me. I stifled a cry. I stayed like that for a minute, I heard a voice behind me; it was BJ.

"We did all we could for him" he sighed, "and that includes you Karen." I looked up at him quizzically through my tears, "After all he was kind of unconscious when I operated on him." BJ attempted a smile, "but you…. well, you were there in his eyes before he went and he felt your touch."  He gave me a little hug on my shoulders and then left the ward. I realized I was still holding William's hand and it felt so warm. Despite BJ's words I didn't feel any better.

As I was checking the saline guy out saw a shadow over me, "Any idea when this man came in nurse?" I turned my head around and then looked up, it was Doctor Winchester.

"I'm not certain doctor." I flushed. "BJ would know I guess but he's not here this minute…"

"Ah, nurse Stanford," Doctor Winchester smiled, "and how has your first day been?" He gazed around the bed and the patient before his eyes rested on mine.

"It has been interesting." I kept my calm, "I did have…" I began.

"So how is this man?" Doctor Winchester frowned.

"OK I think," I replied, "He just needs supervision." I frantically checked my notes.

Dr Winchester smiled, at that moment I couldn't understand how a man could change his mood and expression so fast. He checked the drip and then turned to me. "It must be terrible," he began, fiddling with a valve "to have to deal with these sort of things at your age." He caught a finger and hissed, "When I was your age I was at University, having to deal with the terrible trauma of whether I was a fan of baseball or football," he looked at me again, "I could never say to anybody that I loathed both." He straightened up. "Now," he said "I think I interrupted you telling me about your experiences today." I told him about William, how I felt and Dr Winchester just nodded at me with a straight face.

"Guess I'm made of weaker stuff," I joked but he sniffed the air, and frowning, looked at his watch. After mumbling something about getting something from supplies, he briefly said a goodbye and swept out of the ward with his white coat flowing. I ran to back to the wash-room and bawled my eyes out, just what the hell had I done? Drying my sore eyes and glad I didn't wear mascara I walked back into the ward. I finished my duty and looked sadly on as William was wheeled from the ward. The whole day had made me feel sick and me a nurse. I had gone back to my quarters, I lay on my bed just going over and over again the whole day, tiredness came over and I drifted off to sleep.

 I was so happy, Dad had me on his knee and he was showing me how to play Chess, all I wanted to do was pick up the "Horsy", he was laughing and decided we should start with Draughts. Mamma hated the American term Checkers when we came to live in Maine, in fact she was determined to use every English term possible. She'd insist on talking about walking on pavements, not sidewalks, working on bonnets instead of hoods, like she'd ever worked on a car (God! Not an Automobile!). "We are English," she'd say to Dad and me, "and we should speak English." Dad would look at me and say in his most strong Lancashire accent "Aye up lass, seems we 'ave a right gooden 'ere with all 'er airs an' graces!"

I awoke, it was evening, I was alone and late so after changing I shot to the mess tent, I lined up with my tray poised for poison and as the powdered eggs were slopped on I felt a large, tall man by my side, it was Dr Winchester, his bright blue eyes were kind. I couldn't help it but felt my cheeks burn.

"I want to apologise for my behaviour in the ward Karen," he said, " I have  …..never been good with feelings …I find it difficult…."

That's OK Dr Winchester." I smiled up at him. He turned and asked for real tomatoes and not the tinned puree as he put it and I walked away to find a place at a table. Sitting there I looked over as he placed himself at a table the other side of the mess. I smiled over at him and I was rewarded by a small return smile. I so wanted to get to know him; it was obvious there was a kind, sensitive man underneath that austere and pompous persona. Of course I found him attractive too. felt confused at that fact, he was balding and as Mamma said once of Mrs Cable "Built for comfort and not for speed", and he was considerably older than me. But I couldn't help but be drawn to his strong, unusual features…. and those eyes.

"Hellooooo!!" It was Hawkeye. "Sorry never saw you today," his lanky frame clambered over the bench and he plonked himself beside me. I had to grin even though my mouth was full of fake tomatoes. "Had to go to help out at another unit, BJ told me you had a really bad first day, I'm sorry about that."

"That's OK Hawkeye," I said, and it really was, I hadn't given him a thought all morning.

"I saw you were talking with our local Nobility," he said.

"What?" I looked at him

"Charles, our resident Aristocrat; actually I'm pretty impressed with him lowering himself to talk to a mere nurse, I mean that is his opinion and not mine, to me a nurse can never be mere, and I see he's still mooning over Lady Muck."

I looked over and Dr Winchester was in close conversation with a good-looking blonde woman who had just placed her slim behind next to him, I felt my heart sting but felt ashamed of my ridiculous jealousy.

"You mean that woman he's sitting with," I stated, my voice trembled a little.

"Dr Celia Mathews," grinned Hawkeye sarcastically "Ever since she got here he's been dying to show her his thermometer."

"She is a very good-looking woman," I said.

"Yeh, but as cold as a wet wind in a Korean winter, mind you their wallets were made for each other."

"How do you mean?" I really didn't want to hear anymore but I was compelled to ask.

"Well it looks like the only son of Boston's finest family has met the only daughter of New York's and it could be a marriage made in this hell." The jealousy I felt deepened. Then Hawkeye's tone changed, as did his expression, "Tell you what, I think we should both go to the Swamp tonight and drown each others sorrows, the one that floats is the witch."

"The Swamp?" I asked, it sounded both disgusting and dangerous.

I looked over again at Dr Winchester and the woman; she was so different from me, glamorous, tall and immaculate.

"Don't panic Karen," Hawkeye replied, "It's just my tent, well our tent, BJ, Charles and myself try to sleep there. Call us Roomies, well Tenties… You're not listening to me at all are you?" Hawkeye grinned, "If I knew I had this effect on women I would have become an anaesthetist." He gulped his coffee.

"Oh, I am sorry Hawkeye," I stammered "Just a million miles away."

"No problem," he said "I'd buy a one-way ticket to just a million miles away today."

 He was such a nice person despite his arrogance.

"Well how about it?"

"About what?"  Jeeze, I felt like an idiot, and I felt so rude.

"A drink at the Swamp." He stared straight into my eyes, "I promise you I'll behave like the perfect gentleman."

"OK," I smiled "but only one drink Hawkeye, I want to retire early, my head was so bad this morning."

"My kind of nurse," Hawkeye winked "See you at eight?" I nodded and he left me to my dinner. I kept one eye on Dr Winchester and his companion who were now in deep conversation, suddenly he laughed out-loud and then she then joined in flashing perfect dazzling teeth. My appetite waned and I left the mess tent, what the heck, I was going to enjoy my drink with Hawkeye, I was determined at that.

When I reached the Swamp that evening Hawkeye was casually dressed and went straight to an odd sort of arrangement of tubes and vessels in the tent, he poured two glasses of a clear liquid and gave one to me, "To the War," he toasted and quaffed his drink down in one, and I followed suit and wished at once I hadn't. My, it was like rocket fuel! Suddenly I had to sit down, Hawkeye placed himself next to me with his grin and glass. "Yeh, forgot to tell you this is a special vintage, good hour, 8 O'clock I believe," he went over to the still and filled up a specimen jar with some more.

"Look Hawkeye," I said, "I said I could only stay for one, I want a fresher head tomorrow than the one this morning."

"Trust me, this stuff mellows by the minute," he sat down again and topped up my glass and then his. I thought back to Dr Winchester's lovely companion and again drank the stuff back stiffly, this time I was prepared for the shock when the fire reached my throat. Hawkeye and I talked a little about Maine, he too came from there, we discussed our families – well he talked about his, I wasn't sure how much to say about mine. One thing we had in common is that we were both close to our Dads and he offered his condolences when I told him mine had passed-on, he didn't push the subject though.

"You know Karen," he snuggled up to me, "I messed up so badly with you yesterday, I could have been a little more romantic, I can't imagine what you thought of me."

"Don't worry about it," I said softly and he put his arm around my shoulder, he then reached over and kissed me very gently on my lips and I pulled his head closer. My head spinning slightly I felt his hand touch my bare knee, I panicked and broke away. I was breathless. Hawkeye suddenly sat up straight before putting his head in his hands.

"I did it again," he groaned, "Boy do I feel like a low-life."

"It was my fault," I said, "But I think I need another drink," and I stood up and walked to the Still. "How do you work this thing?" I asked.

Hawkeye came over, "Like this," he said with a laugh, and some more of the fuel poured into my glass. "You wanted a fresh head tomorrow and instead you get a fresh me tonight." His light blue eyes looked at me from under his black fringe, I poured the drink down my throat, "Hey Karen," Hawkeye said, "Go steady with that stuff," but I didn't care, all I kept seeing was Dr Mathews lying in Dr Winchester's arms, looking into his eyes, laughing, joking. What stupid jealousy, I hardly knew him but it felt like a knife. I looked at Hawkeye; well Hawkeyes by that point and his face really did look concerned. I had been truly awful to him, and he _had_ behaved like a gentleman albeit one with a twinkle in his eye. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn't help but let them fall, Hawkeye took me gently in his arms and hugged me, stroking my hair as I sobbed into his chest.

"What the hell do you think you are doing Pierce?" I turned round to see Dr Winchester standing there in the doorway.

"Look Charles," said Hawkeye, "This has nothing whatsoever to do with you."

"The poor girl is obviously distressed." Dr Winchester came towards us "And I'm not in the least surprised, you plying her with that…gut-rot, you are disgusting."

I put myself between them, "Really Dr Winchester," I dried my eyes on my hands, "Nothing has happened, I'm in no danger…"

Hawkeye glared at the Doctor. "That's true Charles, I may have wandering hands but they don't reach to ladies' necks."

"Dr Winchester" I pleaded, "I'm just a bit upset that's all and it really has nothing to do with Hawkeye." My head felt fuzzy and I stumbled towards him steadying myself by grabbing hold of his shirt, I felt myself fall slightly forward and I found my head against his chest. I attempted to unglue myself from this embarrassing position but Charles instead placed his arms around me protectively.

"Oh for God's sake!" he spat at Hawkeye, "It's this young girl's honour not her life that is in danger, you and your philandering and drinking..."

"Drinking!!!" Hawkeye laughed, "You hypocrite Charles, I heard you've been supping at the spring of Saint Boozalus since this afternoon so don't give me all that soberer than thou baloney!"

"I might have partaken of a glass or two of vintage wine this evening when talking with Dr Mathews but my senses never leave my head and graduate to my lower regions."

Hawkeye remained silent and then as I looked round I saw him grab his robe, "I'm sorry Karen, I just got to go before I do something very un-gentlemanly to this pompous ass like being the first doctor to do harm with a scalpel. Oh, maybe not the first, I forgot about Frank," he stormed towards the door and before leaving said to me softly "I'll be in the Officer's Club Karen, I'd love it if you joined me soon." Everything was quiet for a moment and I looked up at Dr Winchester.

"You were wrong you know," I croaked, I felt like crying again.

"I'm sorry " he sighed, "I couldn't see you get into a situation, deeper into a situation I mean." We broke contact and he looked at me, "You are so young Karen," he said gently, "And I would hate if anything unfortunate happened to you, I hated to interfere but…". He did seem a little drunk but then who was I to judge. He staggered to his cot and then lay down. I felt so lousy, there I was standing in the middle of the Swamp, I'd been here only two days and I'd caused problems already. Mamma was right, I was trouble and I always would be. I put on my sandals and went to leave.

"Stay." I heard a whisper.

"Excuse me?" I replied.

Dr Winchester had propped himself up on his elbow and I had to smile as he looked rather like a startled koala bear, what was left of his brown curly locks exploding from both sides of his head.

"Please come and talk to me," he said in a deep soothing voice, "I am …I must explain, I'm a tad drunk, Pierce was right that it was really none of my business, just come and talk to me if only for a minute."

I stumbled over to his cot; that alcohol really got to me and it was like Braille feeling my way over there, but with as much grace as I could muster I sat in the chair next to him. He looked over to me. I could feel myself trembling.

"I am concerned," he began in a sort of slur, "That you might put yourself, not intentionally of course, in a position…" he paused and stroked his head "where you could have been taken advantage of and I'd really hate to see that. You see…" and he sat up putting his feet onto the floor "Hawkeye, no don't get me wrong, he is a fine surgeon and has a modicum of intelligence…well, just he..."

"He was fine to me Doctor," I interrupted, "I was the one who insisted on drinking too much, Hawkeye was worried about me too."

Doctor Winchester smiled. "I hope you don't resent me leaping in as I did", he said.

"Of course not, as you say, you were just concerned and I appreciate it." I then leaned forward and touched his shoulder; he placed his hand on mine and brought it to his lips, his warm breath breezed through my fingers. I had never felt such a surge of total emotion but felt terrified all the same. I managed to catch my breath.

"I really must go", I said

"To Pierce?" He then sighed, "Oh, I apologize, it's really none of my business." He put my hand to his cheek.

"No Doctor Winchester," I replied feeling the softness of his face, "I think I should go back to my tent and sleep." I thought I sounded sensible and rational enough although to be honest I felt I never wanted to go back there that night.

"Please call me Charles," he whispered, "Thank you for letting me talk to you, to explain," his blue eyes glistened in the low light of the tent and I reached over and replaced my hand with my lips, giving him a peck on his cheek. He nestled his face into my neck for a brief moment and then looked at me. Trembling I lightly placed my lips on his; he returned my kiss very gently.

"Please sleep well Karen," his voice seemed distant, I could see his eyes were closed. I stood up and left unsteadily. When I got back to my Quarters a few of the nurses were well asleep, a small lamp barely lit the inside of the tent. I quietly got ready and into bed, my stomach felt queasy, I wasn't sure if it was Hawkeye's concoction or the whole turnaround of the evening, so was that blonde woman Dr Mathews? Charles hadn't referred to her by her Christian name, I felt a little elation at that but I also felt like an idiot. My mind drifted to the kiss I gave Charles, I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't got liquored up I thought. No more drink from now on Karen, don't wanna end up like Mamma; my mind became numb...

"You're useless!!" In panic I sat up, "So bloody useless George, why the hell I married you I don't know." I heard the bathroom door slam. Mamma was still shouting and banging as Dad came up the stairs.

"Hi there Lass" he smiled at me, "How's my girl this morning"? Dad came and sat on my bed with a brown parcel, "Summink here for you Karen, I knew you wanted that little train you saw in the shop Tuesday so I got it for you, just make sure your mother doesn't see it though," he unwrapped for me as I sat up in bed, it was just like the one I saw in the shop and bright red too.

"Is Mamma all right"? I asked.

"She's grand lass" he smiled "Not herself that's all, she'll be fine." He giggled at the little toy, "Aye," he said, "I didn't need a boy did I!" Yes, I was never fond of dolls; I liked cars, fire engines and trains.

There was another loud bang from downstairs and then a fast clippetting as Mamma came up the stairs, her face appeared behind the door,  "Just get down here now so we can discuss it," she hissed at Dad and then her gaze fixed on me, "Get up right now girl, I want no problems this morning, just get up and go to school."

"Yes Mamma."

I woke with those words on my lips but when I opened my eyes I stared into darkness. Sleepy memories of the evening came back,  "I could love you," I whispered, I felt my eyes sting with tears again but fell asleep before they could fall.

_To be continued..._


	3. Where Angels Fear

**SPOKEN ENGLISH****Chapter Three**

_A big thank you to those who have reviewed my story so far. As I mentioned before, I had to 'up' the rating, mainly because of this chapter! Bit graphic but I hope in an erotic rather than pornographic sense_.

**After an emotional evening Karen wakes up to a rainy day, she is sitting in the mess for breakfast with Georgia.**

"My you must have got to bed late last night, didn't hear you at all," Georgia smiled at me over her coffee, but I just looked down at my breakfast and continued playing with it. "It doesn't matter how you rearrange it, it doesn't get to look or taste any better," she added.

"What?" I replied, really not listening.

"Breakfast." She pointed with her head.

"Oh, well I'm not hungry this morning anyway," I said, "Just went through the motions of queuing and getting it."

Georgia put her mug down. "Had a good night last night?" she asked, "I did. I must have danced for hours with Igor, you know, him up there serving the food?" and she flashed him a smile, which no doubt he returned, she leaned over and whispered "You know the fool asked me to marry him!" she laughed, "Really not my type but he's very sweet. So where did you go, I didn't see you in the Officer's Club?"

I looked at her with my best honest face. "Nowhere special, just had a drink with Hawkeye."

"In the Swamp?" Georgia's eyes widened, "Hey I've heard the booze they make in there can be used as a chemical weapon, you didn't actually have any did you, hey no wonder you feel bad this morning!"

"I had a bit, we just talked," I said realising I was protesting before I was even accused.

"OK, OK!" Georgia grinned, "Did I suggest anything different?" and she giggled, "Hey, Hawkeye came into the Club pretty late last night and with a face like thunder, did you two have an argument or something?" Her eyes flashed inquisitively.

"Oh no, guess our conversation turned to something sad," I said feeling my face redden, I was beginning to feel a bit annoyed at Georgia's questioning.

"Must have been something awful, he was chucking drink down his throat," she said. I looked at her face for any sign of sarcasm, but didn't see any; she just looked thoughtful. "Oh, Major Houlihan" Georgia suddenly sat upright.

"At ease Lieutenant." Major Houlihan was standing by the table, she looked down at me, "Lieutenant Stanford?" she nodded, I nodded back. "4 O'clock for duty this afternoon remember so I'd finish up soon and enjoy what you have of the day." The Major turned and left the mess.

Georgia drained her coffee grimacing and then stood up. "See you soon, I've got some studying to do." She winked at me and left taking little running steps. I took it a little slower; I wondered what Georgia was studying. As I eventually rose to leave Charles came into the tent, his face was serious and I felt mine burn. Shakily I picked up my bag and left by the other door, I 'd have to speak to him sooner or later I knew that, just not now I thought.

The ward was the same as yesterday, except for William of course, I felt a sting in my chest with the recollection of his death. Georgia walked towards me, her fair wavy hair tied up in a tight ponytail.

"Doctor Winchester is prowling the ward at the moment," and her eyes spun heavenwards, "and boy he seems to be in a mood!"

My heart pounded at the sound of his name and the prospect of being so close to him again. I walked from bed to bed and checked chart to chart, I talked to the patients and was relieved there wasn't another William among them. I spent quite a few minutes with the boy whose legs had been as he said "blown to buggery", I remembered him from the previous day.

Dr Winchester strolled into the ward staring intently at his files, one hand frantically scratching his head; he bent briefly over a bed before catching my eye. His stern expression disappeared and he smiled benevolently at me; I felt frozen with his gaze. He walked over.

"So good to see you Karen, I mean, how are you?" His eyes wandered upwards to the ceiling.

"I feel fine doctor," I replied coolly.

"Good, good," he scribbled a few notes and raised his eyes to look at me, "I…um…well I hope I, well I do apologise if I was a bit out of sorts last night, I have only vague recollections but..."

There was some laughter, and the door opened, it was BJ and Hawkeye.

"No I don't have a skinny ass!" Hawkeye protested.

"Oh yes you do," sang BJ.

"Oh don't get all chubbier than thou." The two saw us, "And talking of chubby, well, Hello Charles!" Hawkeye boomed. "And great to see you too Karen," he added winking. I felt my skin crawl despite Hawkeye's joviality.

Charles sniffed and reread his notes, making little scribbles with his pen.

"Writing a novel about us Charles?" laughed Hawkeye, "Don't forget to share your Royalties."

Charles looked straight at him. "Like you share your loyalties Pierce, with the nurses?" There was an intense fire in his eyes and I felt good that he had stood up for himself. I couldn't help but grin.

"Did you hear that Beej?" Hawkeye proclaimed, BJ shook his head and smiling to himself went to check on a patient.  "No honestly," Hawkeye chased after him, "That is not fair."

"No it's not," said BJ, "But true though."

"Fine, fine," said Hawkeye before his gaze rested on mine, "Hey, sorry about that Karen." He skulked over to me, his hands deep in his white coat pockets.

"Er, so you never got to the Officers Club last night then?" His tone softened and I couldn't help but warm to him again. "Sorry I ran off like that," he continued, "Charles made me so mad, he does that occasionally, not that I don't like the guy..."

"That's OK Hawkeye," I interrupted, "I do have some work to do though."

"That's fine, just that I hope I didn't put you in an awkward position leaving you alone with him last night that's all, mind you, I think I'd be comfortable leaving Jayne Mansfield with him if you know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean." I looked at him with as much seriousness I could muster and Hawkeye just stared back in silence before a voice echoed from the ward door.

"Colonel Potter wants to see you Doctor Pierce," a nurse stood there.

Hawkeye blinked. "Yoh, coming!" he shouted back and he then turned and left. I had only seen Colonel Potter, had never spoken with him, but from what I heard around the camp he was a decent and reliable man who although expected a certain modicum of military order, viewed us all as human beings with faults and failings. I did wonder what he wanted with Hawkeye though and hoped he was in no trouble.

"I trust you and BJ with the ward now." A voice behind me made me start, "I'm off for a glass of Cognac, some Verdi, and a nap." Charles removed his stethoscope and smiled at me. My heart cramped looking into his beautiful blue eyes and I wished he wasn't leaving so soon. Still there was this evening, and I blushed there and then at the thought of seeing him again. Charles then walked briskly out whistling.

The rest of the shift was very quiet. Georgia had come in to see how things were and to visit a couple of patients. She was so good in that way, seemed to have a natural way of befriending people, I wished I was as unselfconscious as she was.

The Officers' Club was very quiet that evening and I ordered myself a Soda. I sat down in a corner with a paperback trying to appear as oblivious as I could. After a while BJ came in and after getting a beer offered to join me. We talked a little, he spoke of his life back in San Francisco, his wife and his little girl Erin; I felt comfortable in his company and relaxed. I hadn't noticed Charles had entered the Club until he was standing next to our table.

"May I join you two?" he asked.

"If that's OK with Karen," beamed BJ and I nodded.

Charles sat between us around the table placing his tipple before him. "You know Hunnicut," he begun, "It would do Pierce no harm to be as civil as you are, I admit your combined jokes can be a little tiring but I've always admired your decorum and good attitude, relatively of course."

"Well thank you Charles, my relatives would be thrilled," replied BJ.

Charles lifted his glass to ours. "To civilisation," he toasted. The Club door opened and Hawkeye walked in, his grin dropped from his face as he saw us, and he sauntered over.

"Hi all," he chirped regaining his grin, "Any room for a littl'un?"

"Aher!" exclaimed Charles, "Now does that refer to your body or mind Pierce?"

BJ interjected. "Hey Hawk, let me buy you a drink, I do have something to discuss with you so shall we adjourn to another table. Please excuse us ladies," and he got up steering Hawkeye to another corner of the bar.

I sat sipping my Soda listening to Charles' breathing for a few seconds until he turned to me. "Maybe I shouldn't have been so rude" he said at last, I looked at him and realised how close he was sitting, I blushed and with a bravery I never knew I possessed placed my hand on his.

"He can very rude to you too," I said, "I wouldn't worry too much."

Charles smiled and reached his fingers around my touching hand. "Still, I hate to lower myself to that level of sarcasm," he said and we sat like that for some minutes. I felt so close to him, his large warm hand in mine, and his occasional gaze with those sapphire-like eyes. We told each other some things of our lives although I, as usual, kept much back. It was only when I looked casually over to where Hawkeye and BJ were sitting I noticed Hawkeye glaring at us. His face seemed angry and serious and I felt immediately guilty although I wasn't sure why. When I caught his gaze his expression softened and he gave me a half-smile but it was full of sadness; I felt just awful. BJ had noticed I reckon, and placed his arm round his friend and seemed to be chatting merrily to him, his even white teeth gleaming. After a moment Hawkeye seemed to lighten up but for the next half-hour as Charles and I spoke, he still gave an occasional sideways glance in our direction. I found it such an uncomfortable situation and had to tell Charles I should really go back to my tent.

"That's no problem Karen, but I must see you back safely," he smiled; we rose and walked toward the door.

I turned my head towards Hawkeye and BJ. "Goodnight," I said.

"And you," replied BJ, smiling kindly.

"See ya," Hawkeye mumbled without even looking at me. "BJ and I have decided to have continue the merriments Charles so don't expect us back tonight."

"How kind of you to warn me," he replied.

As we walked back to my quarters I felt a sense of deja-vu, how Hawkeye and I had done this the same a couple of evenings previously. I felt every tent had eyes and was pitched in judgement.

"I think that Pierce might be a little jealous," Charles eventually said as we strolled slowly arm in arm.

"I have no idea why," I replied and feeling terribly aware that I'd given Hawkeye the wrong idea from the moment I'd met him.

"You see he is a very nice fellow but expects every female who has the unfortunate luck to be assigned to this place to fall into his arms immediately."

I remained silent and tightened my grip on his arm.

"You seem nervous Karen, I'm sorry if I am making you feel uncomfortable," he said gently.

"You aren't," I said feeling my words stick in my dry throat. My arms encircled his waist and I put my head against his chest feeling his warmth seep through his shirt, his breathing seemed a little laboured. "You are very nice," I managed to say realising at that moment what a vague and senseless thing I'd uttered but Charles just returned the hug and kissed the top of my head.

"You are too", he whispered.

My head spun but this time thankfully sober. As the seconds passed I realised I didn't want to leave him tonight, not because of the loneliness that tempted me with Hawkeye but a real longing to be him. My heart pounded wondering what to do until Charles released himself from my hug and lifted my face to look at him.

"This is totally out of character for me but I would be so happy if I could spend some time with you tonight, just to talk you understand." Charles then spluttered, "Karen, I mean just to talk, you must understand I am not Hawkeye." I could see he was getting flustered.

"That would be lovely," I replied, "to be in your company Charles," and without a word my trembling hand took his as we walked slowly back to the Swamp.

When we entered the tent it was more or less the same as when I saw it last. Cluttered, dusty, and the Still, in the middle, like a big centrepiece at a lush's banquet. Charles pulled up a chair for me and he sat on his bed opposite.

"I have a bottle of good cognac, would you like some?" he asked, opening a small cupboard.

"Yes I'd love one," I replied. I felt I'd been a good enough girl all evening so I felt comfortable accepting a tot of Brandy, and I guessed it would be quite good stuff knowing the little I did about him. He poured two glasses, giving one to me. I sipped the amber liquor and found the experience pleasant, not the burning of the Still's offerings.

Charles cupped his hands around his glass and closed his eyes. "I know nothing about you at all, You told me a lot about some things tonight but can you tell me about yourself, your family?"

I froze, Charles must have noticed my expression.

"I'm sorry Karen, it was an impertinent question, it is just that I am eager to know more about you." He reached over and put his palm lightly over my hand, "I obviously overstepped the mark there."

"No," I said, "I'd like to tell you about my life but it's so difficult to describe," and it was if all my life was condensed on my tongue, I was so desperate to tell him everything, well everything I could remember. "My life hasn't been straightforward," I managed to say, "My father died when I was small, he had an accident but I can't recollect the details. My mother is a difficult woman, very demanding."

Charles smiled. "As is my Father so you have my utmost sympathy there," he wrapped his fingers around my hand, "Please carry on."

I felt hesitant but after having another sip of the Cognac I carried on. "It's like I have very little memory of so many things." I knew I sounded like an idiot but Charles nodded. "They argued so, Mamma…. I mean my mother was so full of hatred, bitterness..." I felt my voice trail off but Charles just remained holding my hand. "It's odd but it is like huge chunks of my life have disappeared."

Charles blinked his blue eyes at me. "Sometimes trauma can lead the human mind to completely block emotions, and the memories, of an event and your father's death must have been an awful experience. I gather you were very close to him?"

"I loved him very much," I said sadly, barely remembering his funeral.

Charles took my hand and kissed it, a rush of tingling warmth crept over my body. I could smell his cologne, which seemed so exotic compared to the acrid pungency of the cheap Tokyo aftershave many of the men at the camp seemed to exude. He then suddenly pulled back a little.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried if I had given him any signals that might have upset him.

Charles took his hands away and placed them on his knees.

"Nothing at all" he stuttered. "Well, I mean I just think that maybe we shouldn't be here, alone, in this tent together." He stood up and paced a little, rubbing the back of his neck. I felt slightly annoyed, he had after all invited me into in his company but now I thought he might be throwing me out.

I stood up defensively. "I'll leave then," I said, placing my glass down.

Charles turned round quickly and his eyes widened and he reached to me. "Oh no, I do apologise," he stammered, patting my arm, "I was only thinking aloud, it's just that here people talk..."

My temper calmed and I smiled. "You mean it would be so terrible for others to know we were sitting here talking and having a quiet drink?" I asked.

Charles sat back down again and looked up at me. "You are quite right," he whispered in a mock conspiracy voice, "What would everybody think?" and he chuckled, grabbing my hands to reseat me. "I am so sorry Karen, please stay a little longer, let's talk, about anything!"

"Well, I'd love to hear more about your life back in Boston," I began.

Charles slapped his thigh and reached over to the Cognac to top both our drinks up. His eyes glistened and a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. "Ah Boston," he said to himself, "Have you ever been to Boston, Karen?"

"Only once," I replied "Dad took us there when he had to attend a conference." I left out the part where Mamma had got drunk and had embarrassed him in the hotel bar afterwards.

"Well you must remember how beautiful the place is, especially this time of year," and his eyes seemed to mist over with his recollection.

"Maine is similar," I said.

"Of course, I forgot!" Charles laughed, "Well, we're practically neighbours!" He quaffed back his Cognac and then looked at me seriously. "I couldn't imagine living in New York though" and he fell silent.

I fumbled with my glass. "I've never been," I eventually said.

"Dreadful place, and to think..." and his smile dropped "Never mind, so what has been happening in Maine?" His expression seemed sad.

I was reluctant to answer because I felt I didn't want to remember the place, but also because Charles really wasn't interested to hear anyway by the tone of his question. I mumbled that things were about the same and agreed that the weather was indeed very beautiful for this time of year.

He looked at me intensely as I spoke, it was a look of kindness and patience and I realised he had a lot on his mind. I wanted to ask what was troubling him but felt it might upset him; I was his guest and it was no concern of mine to start poking into his business.

He needed no provocation. "Karen," he said suddenly, "When I mentioned that I would hate to live in New York I meant it for a reason," and he leant over and cupped my face in his large warm hands. I shivered. "It's that woman..." He spat out the last word, his eyes clearing. "I mean, it would be so perfect for both our families, my father, her father…" He stopped and sat up straight. "You have no idea, I don't expect you to," he said gruffly and he refilled our glasses again. My mind whirled, I had no clue at all what he was saying but I wanted him to continue.

"Please tell me," I asked, "I'd like to know, to understand."

"I don't expect you to understand my predicament at all," he said and his manner softened, "You see," and he closed his eyes, "I am expected to marry somebody who is of my equal, of similar social standing and, well, when Dr Mathews arrived I thought I might have just met the woman who might have been the perfect choice; a woman who not only equalled me as a professional but also as a person who my parents would flip over backwards for, due to her family connections. I mean our fathers had even met at one point!" Charles' eyes flashed at this last statement.

I looked down at my drink and felt uneasy, he was right, I didn't understand but his predicament obviously bothered him.

I reached over and touched his hand gently. His eyes stared straight ahead and he continued in a gentler tone. "I spent most of the afternoon wooing who I thought was the most charming woman and found myself in the company of the most boring and self-centred individual I'd ever met, she seemed more interested in my parent's assets than in me... and she said that if we ever married I'd would have to move to New York, due to her mother being an invalid; I mean!"

I smiled a little at the irony but then realised how upset Charles really was about this. "Is that why you drank too much yesterday?" and I trod carefully.

"I'm afraid it got a little worse," Charles admitted, "I told her she and her father could... stick it," and his nose turned up a little at the memory. "This is going to reach my parents I know," he said, "And Grandmamma Winchester, well she'll be just furious."

"Is it that important?" I asked realising at once it probably would be and I tightened my grip on his hand. I noticed a little tear at the outer corner of his eye. He stroked my thumb. "You're right that I don't understand," I said at last, "But I'd like to. Let me stay."

Charles looked at me. "Do you think that is a good idea?" he asked.

I felt suddenly foolish. "Maybe you're right," and I stood to leave once again. He took hold of my arm.

"I could make up the spare cot, it would be no problem," he smiled, slurring his words slightly and he stood and walked behind me finding blankets and ruffling pillows.

"I'd rather sleep next to you," I said and my face burned furiously, how the hell did that get out? I thought.

Charles gave a little sniff. "It might be wise if you didn't." His voice sounded suddenly cold and unemotional and I felt a tear in my eye. After a minute he walked back to his cot and reached over to his little cupboard. He removed a couple of small candles. "When I have the rare moment of sleeping in here without Pierce and Hunnicut I like to light these, I bought them in Tokyo, they contain incense and I find them very relaxing." Standing up he placed the candles on the table next to his bed. "I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," I said.

Charles found a match and lit the candles and I undid the laces on my shoes.

"You'll want some bedclothes of course," he said and he kneeled down and unlocked his footlocker and removed a large silk shirt, which he passed to me. He then muttered a few apologies about having to do his ablutions and left the tent. I undressed, and buttoned the shirt around me; my insides felt twisted as I walked to the perfectly made bed and climbed in. I lay back on the pillow wondering that just maybe Charles had escaped me and had found somewhere else to sleep tonight. Maybe I had overstepped the mark myself. I had no doubt offended him. I grasped the cold, crisp sheet to my chin and noticed the smell from the candles. I must have fallen asleep, Charles returned to the tent. He was in a dressing robe and he placed his clothes on the chair, I could smell soap. He turned off the lamp and I watched him move in the shadows.

He sat on the side of his bed and looked at me, his eyes flickering in the candlelight.

"Thank you for staying Karen," he whispered, "and for listening to my petty problems."

He blew out the candles and I watched him as he disrobed, his body a silhouette. He climbed into his cot and lay down.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight Karen."

My dreams were fretful, there were images of Charles, Hawkeye, and then I was back home in Maine. I could see the colour of the carpet outside my parent's room, a deep peach that I felt my tiny feet sink into and that turned gradually into a creeping dark red. A flash of reflected light from a steel knife, my mother's eyes. "That Brat!" I heard a man's voice cry and then I felt terror.

I must have been screaming before I heard it. Charles was kneeling by my cot and holding me.

"It's alright," I heard him say, "It's a nightmare."

I instinctively held him and sobbed into the shoulder of his robe. "I'm so sorry," I sniffled, "Too much Cognac I guess."

Charles kissed my cheek. "Come and sleep next to me," he whispered and I staggered on his arm over to his cot. He made sure I was comfortable and I felt the warmth of his body as he slid down next to me, his large frame took up much of the cot but I was willing to hang on in there manoeuvring my body and finding myself eventually with my leg astride his hip. I was still shaking but it felt comforting to feel Charles' presence.

I lay there in the dark for quite a time, my mind kept trying to gather the pieces of my dream together, surely it was just a silly nightmare. I couldn't sleep but I concentrated on Charles's hot body next to mine, his steady breathing, and I bathed in the bliss of my infatuation whose skin touched my own. I couldn't resist and I reached my trembling hand over to his chest, it was broad and I tangled my fingers around the lush hairs. Mitch had once put my hand on his chest when we were at the pool but his had been bony and smooth, I relished in the touch of this wide rough expanse. Charles awoke suddenly and quickly put his hand over mine.

"Karen," he said softly, and I froze in anticipation of a coarse rebuff, but instead he kissed my forehead. "As I have said to you before, you are so very young and this is a difficult situation for both of us..." but before he finished I took his face in my hands and kissed him. His lips responded and he placed his body over me. His tongue gently licked the inside of my lower lip and then darted into my mouth where our tongues met in a delicious dance, my hand moved down his body caressing his hips. I could feel my heart race and my body shake with pleasure.

Charles' breathing became laboured.

"We really shouldn't be doing this, you are so young…" his voice trailed off and I kept kissing him, placing his hand over my breast. He gently squeezed it. "Please tell me if you would like me to stop," his voice seemed rasping, pleading almost. I had no intention of putting a halt to these wonderful sensations though.

"Don't stop", my voice was a whisper but Charles seemed to hear.

He leaned down and kissed my nipple, I freed myself from the shirt and groaned as his tongue encircled and prodded, drawing my nipple into his soft warm mouth. It felt so good and placing my hand over the back of his head with my fingers in his curls, pressed him closer to my breast. He then reached up and kissed my mouth again, his warm lips pushed against mine. Our tongues mingled and our bodies pressed against each other. His hand stroked my body, over my stomach and down to in between my legs, I gasped as I felt his fingers touch me where I had been tempted to touch myself so many times. I was brought up to think that was a sin, so I left myself alone but now I couldn't care less if I'd be damned. Charles' caresses were gentle and sensual but urgent, I breathed in his scent and brought his body closer into mine. Reaching down I felt him, he moaned as I stroked his hardness and I wanted that hardness inside me so much, wanting him so much. Slowly and very gently he eased into me, a little at a time but with each time my body responded by pushing back onto him. My mind suddenly went back to when Mamma had said to me:

"Sex is disgusting, to think I ever indulged your father. Remember girl that all men are bad, they are nasty, they only want to satisfy themselves"

I gave a little whimper as Charles fully entered me. There was a sharp pain but pleasure took over and I grasped him to my body as we rocked slowly together in the cot. He covered my face with kisses, nipping my neck and whispering into my ear how much he wanted me. He placed his hand underneath me and lifted me to his body, and his rhythm increased. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and his hard chest sweeping my breasts when suddenly my body seemed to leave itself, I was aware of every part of my skin that touched his. An electricity spread throughout my body, which was so intense, I let out a cry and tears stung the corners of my eyes. My back arched as I gasped. Charles pushed into me a little more and then cried out himself. We grasped each other, our fingers leaving marks in each other's sweating skin. Then they were in each other's hair. He kissed me hungrily and I held him tightly to me. Charles rested his head on my breasts and I stroked his damp curls.

"Karen," he panted, "I don't know what to say."

"What is there to say?" I said, and I screwed my eyes up and took a deep breath, "It was wonderful, truly wonderful."

Charles hugged me. We just slept and I cuddled him and enjoyed the comfort of his large arms encircling me. My nightmare never entered my thoughts again that night, the horrors seemed to be far away and my dreams a fleeting string of feint wisps.

"Charles," I heard a soft but urgent voice, "Charles!" and we were being shaken, "Wake up, you've slept in." I opened my eyes to see an unshaven, bleary eyed BJ kneeling beside us, I instinctively covered my exposed breast, blushing furiously, but BJ didn't bat an eyelid, he seemed more intent on rousing his fellow doctor. "Come on, get up!" he said, and Charles gave a small moan and raised his head.

"Hunnicut, what the..." and he blinked in the daylight and turned his face to mine before quickly looking at BJ. "Where's Pierce?" he panicked.

"He went straight to the latrine soon as we got back, seems he ate something that disagreed with him," BJ replied.

"Obviously something intelligent." Charles yawned, "Thank you Hunnicut, do you mind now if we...?"

"Ah, yes of course Charles, Karen," and he smiled at me and left the tent.

Charles leapt out of bed and grabbed his robe; I followed and hastily changed into my clothes. We said nothing to each other.

"Karen," he eventually said and he held me gently by the shoulders, "Do you mind if we speak later, I..." his eyes gazed into mine pleadingly.

"I understand Charles," and we kissed briefly. I left the Swamp looking anxiously around for Hawkeye, I knew my life was none of his business but his mood and intense glares the previous evening made me feel uncomfortable, I thought how stupid I had been to play with his affections even with the knowledge of his own reputation with nurses. The coast was clear and I ran back to the nurses' quarters, to my relief it was empty and I realised I had no idea of the time, I looked at my wrist, I wasn't wearing my watch; I must have left it at the Swamp but at least I wasn't due for duty until the afternoon.

As I showered I had time to reflect back on my night with Charles, my heart ached and my body trembled remembering his touch and his lovemaking. As I soaped myself my hand reached down over my breasts and in between my legs, I imagined Charles' fingers caressing me, his passionate kisses...

"Morning!" a voice trilled behind me, with my eyes closed I hadn't realised the door had been opened, I thanked God the shower walls blocked my body. I turned quickly towards the voice.

"H-hey Georgia!" I blushed, "How are you?"

She disrobed and entered the other cubicle. "I'm fine, a little hung-over, but what happened to you last night?" she giggled, "Oh maybe it's none of my business but you certainly didn't sleep in your cot last night!"

My body froze and it wasn't the lukewarm water, I rinsed my body. "Can I talk to you, I mean later?" I asked; for some reason I really did feel I could talk to her.

"Wow, you sound serious Karen," and she looked at me with her kind eyes, her voice became quieter, "Of course you can, I'm pretty busy most of today but is after dinner all right?"

"Yes, that would be perfect," I smiled. "Thank you."

The rest of the morning I spent reading on my bed and thinking of Charles, I felt hurt that he had shooed me out so quickly that morning but I understood, he too must have been aware of Hawkeye's mood and after all he had to live with him during this war. I thought of what he said about Dr Mathews, he said he'd loathed the woman but maybe he'd changed his mind? He seemed to put so much importance on social standing, and money. My family had no money really, we had a nice house and a woman in to help but our finances were very unstable and whatever cash was left each month being spent by my mother on Whisky. Oh my Mother! Charles could never accept her! The more I thought of my family the more my heart plummeted, whatever he despised in Dr Mathews' family mine would leave him reeling in horror. Tears crept from my eyes. He'd said he wanted to speak later, I lay back and my tears fell onto my pillow and I sobbed, fearful of what Charles would say to me when we met.

There was a knock at the door and I sat up.

"Who is it?" I asked, trying to wipe my tears with the sheet.

"It's BJ, is it OK if I come in?"

My heart lurched, Hawkeye had found out.

"Of course BJ," I replied and stood up, straightening my rumpled clothes as he entered looking very much fresher than he was earlier, he smiled at me warmly. I thought that if BJ hadn't been married, I would have fallen in love with him instead of Charles.

"Mind if I sit down Karen?" he asked.

"Of course not," I flustered and pulled up a chair, he placed his slim frame down and crossed his legs.

"I'm sorry about barging in on you this morning, I mean I had no idea you and Charles were, well..."

"Together?" I finished.

"Yes," and he grinned, "Of course I haven't told Hawkeye and please believe me I won't."

"Thank you BJ," I said.

"You know Hawkeye is very jealous that you were talking with Charles last night?"

"I didn't mean to hurt him, really," I stuttered.

"I know that," he said nodding, "He's feeling a bit sorry for himself at the moment, getting drunk, he even got into a fight day before yesterday."

"Was that why Colonel Potter asked to see him?" I asked.

"Yup, but don't worry Karen, honestly, he just got a little telling-off that's all." BJ rose and took hold of my hand. "Hawkeye's been through this stuff before, well maybe without the brawling, but he'll recover." He patted my shoulder "Anyway, thought I'd come and apologise. Good luck with Charles," he said kindly and left the tent.

I lay back on my cot feeling just awful, I hadn't realised Hawkeye would respond this way. I felt like a walking disaster area; I was in Korea to mend men's bodies not break their hearts. I checked the time by picking up a watch that had been left by a nurse, soon I'd be talking with Charles and I was sure my own heart would be broken too.

_To be continued..._


	4. I Believe in You

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SPOKEN ENGLISH Part Four

**

_Many apologies for taking such a long time with this chapter, hot weather and family circumstances. Hope peeps will enjoy anyway! Had to make it R for safety again 'fraid as again it gets a bit fruity (In the best possible taste of course!!)_

**Karen had spent the night with Charles. BJ knew and had promised her he wouldn't breath a word to Hawkeye. It is now the afternoon and she is due to be on duty in post-op.**

I had tried to read the rest of the morning but I found it difficult, by noon I had fallen asleep, missing lunch; I regretted it when I woke feeling extremely hungry and a little sick thinking back to the previous evening and the morning. I tidied myself and wandered into the compound, my book in my hand like a safety. It wasn't as warm as when I arrived and I wished I'd checked up on the Korean weather for late summer, goose-pimples sprung up on my arms as a chilly wind swept around me.

"Hi Karen!" I heard a woman's voice cry out. It was one of the nurses I shared my quarters with, my mind scrambled for her name, she was the one with ginger hair, yes, Emily.

"Hi Emily!" I shouted, "How's things?" and she ambled over.

"Oh not bad, bit tired, was on duty most of last night," she blinked her green eyes, "You haven't done nights have you?"

"Not yet," I replied as an allied plane roared overhead.

"Go get 'em boys!" she yelled looking up laughing. "You will!" she shouted over the noise, "Bit quiet, and you keep thinking about the girls in the club having a good time while you're checking drips and stuff, anyway, you take care now."

"Have you seen Hawkeye?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I hear he's gone off to one of the villages close to here, a woman is having a tough time in labour."

"Thanks," I said and she wandered off. Whatever I'd thought about Hawkeye, he was a professional and I thought to myself it was about time I behaved like one myself. I looked up to the skies to see the last of the allied planes roar off into the hazy horizon and gave a small wave myself. With a surge of patriotism I made my way to Post-op.

I changed into my uniform and strode into the ward; I walked toward the first bed and checked the man's chart. The young, blond lad barely smiled at me, I smiled at him none the less.

"He has a broken clavicle, pretty lucky considering."

I looked up and saw it was Charles. "He's new ," I said.

"His jeep overturned this morning, two of his friends didn't make it," he said.

"I… didn't know that," said the injured man suddenly and he turned his head away. "You mean Joe and Reg…" And then he started sobbing. I gripped his hand, "Why didn't I die too, I was driving, it's my fault that…" and he turned his head away and continued to sob into his pillow. My heart went out to him, I couldn't begin to imagine how bad he was feeling at that moment.

"I suggest you concentrate on getting better for now," Charles said softly, "There is, well are, certain people, er, who are trained in, well to listen and help you in this area." I could tell he found the young man's emotional anguish difficult, but Charles' kind tone and the gentleness in his eyes showed that he was genuinely concerned, sympathetic even.

"What about Father Mulcahy, Doctor?" I interjected.

Charles seemed to wake up from deep thought and looked at me. "Yes, yes," he said, "A good idea nurse. Our Padre is well equipped to help you with these matters, I will speak to him later on today."

The patient nodded a little, sniffing through his tears but remained facing away.

Charles gently touched my arm. "May I have a word, Lieutenant?" he said softly, and I followed him to the corner of the ward. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and looked down. "Karen, you must think I'm an insensitive cretin but I honestly had no idea he hadn't been told about his comrades."

"It wasn't your fault," I said.

"No, I should have checked. Hawkeye had seen him in and… well, I hadn't been in the mood to talk to him today, I …"

As soon as he mentioned Hawkeye's name my mind wandered to what BJ had said about his friend's behaviour, I felt again so bad.

Charles leant slightly towards me and whispered into my ear. "May I er.. see you later on today, for a drink maybe?"

"Yes, of course," I replied,

"Maybe after dinner?" Charles gazed at me warmly although his face looked troubled. I nodded quickly, feeling strangely fearful of what of what he might want to say to me. He left the ward and I went back to my duties. I had some stuff from the ward to clean so with arms full of soiled sheets and gowns I made my way to the laundry. It was there it struck me, I was meant to have a talk with Georgia after dinner! Now what was I going to do? I had promised to be with her and it was so very kind for her to offer but I so longed to know what Charles needed to say. I made my decision after stuffing the last load of laundry into the soapsuds.

Throughout dinner I watched the door. BJ ambled in with one of the mechanics, Father Mulcahy followed soon after, Major Houlihan arrived and nodded towards me, smiling a little before she sat down next to BJ. A flash of orange made me spill my fork of beans - sweeping through the door was a wiry, hairy man in a pencil-skirt and matching tangerine spiky-heeled shoes; I could just see that Georgia was behind him to his left, they both laughed. Georgia then saw me and came over, waving; she had a big grin on her face.

"Hi Karen," she grinned, "By the look on your face I don't think you've ever met Klinger have you?"

She sat herself down beside me and helped herself to a piece of my bread roll, no I hadn't met Klinger if she was referring to the gaily dressed man she came in with.

"Oh, he's an absolute sweetheart!" she trilled, "Apparently he has spent a few days in Tokyo, arrived back just an hour ago," and she munched a little more of my bread.

"I must admit it makes the place brighter," I said, and smiled as I watched Klinger hitch up his skirt with some grace as he sat down, it was as if it was the most natural act in the world for him.

"Ooh, I must get some food of my own," she said, and I agreed as I watched her totter over to Igor. My eye caught Klinger's and he waved at me, his thick, black eyebrows raised and his little white purse dangling from his arm; I waved timidly back and had to smile. I toyed with my food, no sign of Charles.

Georgia leant over slightly at the table and made a would-be shield with her hand, "You mean you and Dr Winchester, no way!"

"Yes!" I rasped, "Oh please don't make it out we're talking about something secret Georgia!" I replied and pulled her covert hands back down on the table. I looked around. "Best we go to the Officers' club and talk, please?" She smiled and arm in arm we walked over. I thought that Charles might just wander in there anyway, I could stall him a while. Georgia and I started with a couple of beers but after a while we took to whiskeys (with insistence from Georgia. I still had regrets from the last two nights – what willpower I thought) and my tongue loosened, telling her about what had happened between Hawkeye, Charles and me.

Georgia listened with interest and then, after draining her Whiskey, cuddled my arm. "Oh my," she began, "And I thought I liked to live dangerously! Seriously though, maybe you should come clean with Hawkeye." She must have seen my eyes widen. "I know nothing kind of happened between you two," she quickly added, "But I reckon it is better to be honest."

"But it isn't anybody's business!" I said, "Especially Hawkeye's."

"I know that Karen, but…" and she fumbled with her glass.

"But what?" And I felt my heart lurch.

"Well I think you better know that earlier today when I was leaving the ward Hawkeye came up to me and he was holding a watch."

"A watch?" I said, rather confused at first but then it dawned on me.

"Yes, one with a gold strap," she said quietly, "He said he had found it in the swamp and asked me if I knew who it belonged to. I didn't recognize it at first but after he left I remembered you were wearing one so very much like it when we were on the jeep coming in and…"

"Yes it was mine," I said "And I did leave it in the swamp but not when I left Hawkeye." I felt uncomfortable admitting this.

Georgia was quiet for a second. "I see," she said at last.

"Did you tell Hawkeye when you remembered?"

"No I didn't Karen, honest I didn't!" And her brown eyes looked directly into mine, "I just guessed there must have been an explanation, maybe you'd left it after you had that drink with him, or that it wasn't yours at all or …"

"Or that I'd left it there after being with Dr Winchester?" I said.

Georgia looked down at her glass.

"So you guessed I might have been with him all the time?" I asked.

"Well," she said "Yes, but it was only when Hawkeye started raving on about the Major being a sneaking woman-stealer and it was so typical that he flashed his money under your nose to impress you."

This time my eyes narrowed and my brow furrowed with fury. How dare Hawkeye assume I could be only attracted to a man because of his wealth! Did he think I was really that shallow?

"Are you OK Karen?" a meek voice broke through my thoughts and Georgia was looking at me with a tear in her eye. "I know I should have found you right away and told you," she flustered, "But I was so busy and I didn't know where you were, and when I bumped into you in the shower and you asked to meet up I …"

I rested my hand on her arm, it was quite obvious she was upset; I must have looked so angry!

"Really Georgia, it wasn't your fault," I consoled her, "Hell, you didn't know what was really going on. You are right though, I've got to face Hawkeye and just tell him outright if even just to stop him getting drunk and mouthing off."

Before this conversation I had really wanted to be kind to Hawkeye but now I just felt so mad at him I just wanted to put him straight – straight through the nearest window.

I ordered a couple of more whiskeys and we talked about more pleasant stuff - England, the weather in Korea, the rats in Korea, the war in Korea and Georgia's studies (she was learning French as she had a promise of a job in Paris when the war was over). I made sure I kept one eye on the club door for Charles but he didn't appear; he never did mention where he wanted to meet, maybe I should have gone to the Swamp but then Hawkeye might have been there! Why should Charles assume I'd look for him anyway? I almost expected Hawkeye to come in at some point too.

Oh this was such a claustrophobic place to be! Not only was there no escape from the war, but there was no escape from anyone else here in the camp! After a while I reckoned my head was spinning enough for the evening so I finished my drink, hugged Georgia and thanked her for her company and said my goodbyes, and with an effort that would have impressed Hawkeye, left the Officers' club. It was dark and quite chilly, I wore a cardigan which I clasped around my body but my bare legs sprung up with goose-bumps.

I felt so tired.

Creeping back to my tent I heard some laughter from the showers, I looked round to see BJ and Hawkeye. Hawkeye was flashing his gown open and shut to his friend's amusement. So typical, I muttered to myself. I hid in the shadows until their voices were distant and then carried on with more speed. Suddenly I saw Charles, he too was robed and he was heading towards the showers. I froze, I couldn't think what to do. He seemed to spend so much time looking back and forth and around the compound before deciding to enter the showers. My heart was speeding like a train, had he been looking around for me? Should I have the guts to just knock on the shower door? No that would be unthinkable, I just could never do that. Not to the showers surely? To my horror I found myself boldly walking towards them.

"Hellooo Lady!!"

I jumped and turned, to be faced with the hairy guy but this time he was in a green floral frock. "I wear green tonight," he said "Not because it's the closest colour to Khaki but I hear it is easy on the eye and goes well with my eyes too."

I laughed, "Hello Klinger," I said, "Good to meet you."

"Good to meet you too," he replied, and he held a gloved hand out to me, I shook it. "I've been watching you," he said, and I shivered. "I'd just love to know where you got your shoes, been looking for a pair like that for some time to match my yellow Veronica Lake number; see ya later!"

And he walked off whistling.

Calming down my eyes returned to the shower tent. I felt so scared but then my mind went back to the previous night when Charles and I were in bed and after a few deep breaths my shaking legs brought me over to the door. I knocked, I feel a little too quietly. I could hear water running, and noticed the door was slightly ajar so I pulled it a little open, the room was somewhat steamy but I saw Charles remove his slippers and place them on the bench. A towel was wrapped rather precariously around his middle.

I coughed.

"Who is it?" he jumped slightly and his voice was full of annoyance.

"Charles, it's me Karen."

And he turned round. His body was damp from the steam and he placed an arm over his chest. "Karen!" he spluttered, "I am so sorry, I mean, I wanted to see you earlier, I certainly didn't want you to see me like this!"

I smiled, I liked to see him like this.

"I had every intention of coming to the mess this evening but …" and he halted, "I was called to the ward, I was needed. I am very sorry I let you down," and his hand reached to secure his towel.

"May I come in?" I asked, thinking maybe it was a strange question to ask, after all, it wasn't exactly his tent. I looked back over my shoulder but there was nobody about.

Charles sat down on the bench next to his slippers and rubbed his palms over his face. "Yes," he said softly, "Come in Karen, I want to talk to you," and as I stepped into the room he rose to turn the off the shower. For the first time that evening my body shook and despite the whiskey, I felt terror run through every vein in my body. Charles sat down again and patted the space on the bench next to him. My legs weakly took me over to him and I sat with my hands clenched together and my eyes fixed on the ground. I could feel his damp thigh press against me.

He gently took my hand. "Last night," he began, and I felt my terror turn into ice, "Was something beautiful, something special." My trembling turned into little jumps and I could feel again the beginning of tears. "It was the first time for you wasn't it?" and his voice was a whisper. I didn't respond. He continued: "I didn't think, oh God I just didn't think!" and his hand gripped mine tightly.

I blinked back my tears and summoned the courage to look at him. "Yes," I replied more feebly than I wanted, "It was my first time but I don't regret it, I don't regret it at all!" and as I felt just one tear fall I experienced an emotional surge and turned to him. "Why don't you just say it Charles?" I demanded, "That it was all a mistake and we should just get on with our lives, and the war?"

"No," he said softly, "That's not what I was going to say at all," and his light blue eyes stared directly into mine. "I just feel so responsible as an older man… and with you… well being so much younger and so inexperienced…"

"Is that how you see me?" I replied acidly, "That I am some little girl hick from the sticks knowing nothing about the world?" and I stood up. "Is it because you think I don't know anything about culture? Never been to the right schools? Never been to the right parties?" I could hear my voice breaking up but Charles remained silent and then grasped my hands.

"No!" he said at last, and drew me to him, " No Karen, that's not true, I have never looked down on you and have never dreamed of judging you!" His eyes filled with tears.

"You know nothing about me Charles," I sniffed, realising that I barely knew anything about myself.

"You're right," he said, "And now I want to learn everything possible about you."

I knelt down in front of him and cried into his damp shoulder, and he hugged me tightly. I felt both enraged at him and comforted by his embrace. I could smell the faint aroma of shaving foam on his neck and feel the coldness of his dog-tags which fell against my cleavage.

"I love you and I loved you from the moment I ever saw you," I heard myself say. Oh why I ever said that then I don't know but maybe I truly believed it.

"Karen," Charles breathed into my ear, "Meeting you was the best thing that has happened to me since I have been here."

I held him closer and noticed my trembling had ceased.

He stood up and took me in his arms. I could feel his damp chest against my face, the hairs sticking to my cheek. We kissed gently, his tongue parted my lips and I sank into the wonderful moistness of his mouth. His hands reached around me and he removed my cardigan, which fell with a clack of buttons onto the floor. Gazing into my eyes he then unzipped my dress, but suddenly he froze and clutching his towel around him he sat down again.

"No Karen," he gasped. "This is unfair to you, I don't …"

"Want to?" I replied. I was too full of passion to stop what was happening so I took him by the hands and pulled him back up towards me. "Charles, don't be gallant, just make love to me!" I said.

He smiled silently and opened one of the shower cubicles. Turning the water on he removed his towel and pulled me in, the sudden cascade of cold water made me gasp.

"It might warm up!" Charles laughed.

"I'm sure it will!" I said as my eyes blinked through the water, my hair fell in damp tendrils about my face and I realised I was still wearing my dress. I shrugged it off and it fell. I clasped my body to his and reached up to kiss him, he attacked my lips with passion and I felt his hands reach round and undo my brassiere. It too fell into the pool of water at our feet. I shivered as he kissed down my neck and bent down to reach my nipples. His soft lips took them into his mouth gently; his hands stroked up and down my body as the water fell about us and my hands curled around his wet hair as his warm tongue prodded and circled. I felt his hand reach and pull my knickers down, his fingers probed gently inside me. My legs felt so weak with absolute longing,

Charles then kissed further down my body and he knelt down and held my waist. I'd never experienced this before as his tongue trailed down past my belly button and reached down between my legs; I felt the delicious wetness of his mouth on me and inside me, and as I pushed myself into him I couldn't help but scream out as my body shook.

Charles stood and looked at me. His lovely blue eyes seemed a bit sheepish as he blinked through the falling spray and he pecked me lovingly on the cheek. I reached up to him and my hungry lips found his, we kissed deeply and my hands once more caressed him. I wanted to please him too although I knew it would be so very new to me, I felt scared but I so wanted to do this. I knelt down and took his hardness gently into my mouth and I caressed him with my tongue. I heard that in my town, doing this meant a girl was loose but this was surely different – those girls did it under duress I imagined, I was enjoying this and felt pleasure pleasing Charles.

"Karen," he gasped, "I don't expect you to…" but I continued. My hand shakily held him as I felt the smoothness and warmth of him in my mouth and I could hear him quietly moan saying my name, his fingers twirled through my hair. After a time he started moving himself between my lips, very gently at first but then quite urgently. He withdrew from me and lifted my chin to look at him. His breathing was heavy.

"I don't want to stop Charles," I said, "Please, just let me carry on."

He looked at me and blinked. I took him once again between my lips, letting him gently move in my mouth. He moaned as my tongue felt its way around him and his hips regained their urgency. He held my head tightly as my fingers worked their way through his wet body hair and between his thighs, caressing him gently. Suddenly he pulled me up and lifted me so my arms could rest on walls of the shower cubicle, burying his face into my neck. I felt his legs push mine apart and he entered me. It was hard to keep balanced, our wet bodies slipping against each other, but my legs clasped his hips as he pushed into me again and again until once more I felt my body tense with pleasure. We cried out together and held each other tightly, then there was silence except for the sound of the water running and our heavy, trembling breaths.

We decided to go our separate ways that night, me to the nurses quarters and he to the Swamp; but beforehand, I wrung my soggy clothes out as much as I could and we giggled together, Charles suggesting I could say I was caught in a freak shower. I just asked for a something to place around me and he gave me a neatly folded dry towel.

"As you saw, the army under-estimates the size of some of its personnel so I always come to the showers with two."

I bundled my damp clothes up under my arm, and after we kissed I trotted back. The girls were huddled up in bed and only Nora, the Texas nurse, was up, sitting on the side of her bed and engrossed with painting her toenails. Observing her slow and imprecise attempts I guessed she'd had quite a good evening herself. I hurriedly stuffed my clothes into my wash-bag knowing that it probably wasn't the best thing to do, and after pulling on my nightgown I climbed into my cot.

"Night Nora," I whispered, and she slowly looked over to me as her brush left a trail of little red dots up her big toe.

"Huh? Oh, nigh'-nigh', Karen" she slurred and I turned over to sleep and smiled to myself. Charles said before we parted that we'd meet tomorrow, maybe go out of the camp and spend some time alone. As I felt my eyes close with tiredness a thought entered my head, I hadn't seen Dr Mathews; had she left? Nobody had mentioned if she had, surely I'd have heard, but my mind was too numb to entertain this quandary and I drifted into oblivion.

Except it wasn't oblivion, where I found myself was somewhere I didn't want to be: I was at home in Maine and seeing that perfect peach coloured carpet outside Mamma and Dad's bedroom door. This time there was no red but the hall was in darkness and there was just a sliver of light under the door, I stood so very still watching the shadows from the other side make the sliver flash between dark and light. The voices came again, I could see my hand reach up and turn the knob and the hall flooded with a yellow light as I opened the door, my first sight is the family picture on the table on Dad's side of the bed but then my attention is drawn to a movement from the window.

"Get that brat out of here!" I hear an angry voice.

A man runs towards me but a woman pulls him back, it is Mamma and she looks so smart wearing a silver dress and her perfect blonde hair is piled up, she looks immaculate. I try to push the door a bit more to come in and see her but something is stopping me, I look down and see a pair of legs, still and lying on the floor. There are some stains of red on the carpet.

"She's seen us!" I hear. The man is very tall and slim, his face is red and his brown straight fringe is stuck flat on his forehead.

"Leave it Arthur!" Mamma shouts and I see her run over to me and when she kneels down I feel her arms around me, her perfume smells stale and streaks of black are around her eyes, some of it is smudged down her cheeks.

"Lets go darling," she says quietly, smiling and stroking my hair.

"Oh no!" the man walks towards us, I pull free from Mamma's embrace. "You don't walk away from this so easily Grace, we had an understanding."

The yellow light faded; I saw images of white-coated trees and white-coated mountains and every one of them had the smiling face of a woman with perfect blonde hair. I awoke with my cheek buried in the dampness of my pillow and blinked as I raised my head towards the noise of another morning at the MASH 4077.

_To be continued..._


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